My favourite Homer Simpson quotes of all time!

Posted on 22 May ’11

I was watching “The Simpsons” the other day, and thought, this is one of the longest running and funniest shows I have been a fan of since my school days. Similar to my post on famous lines from Stewie Griffin (from Family Guy) or quotes from Batman, I have decided to dedicate a post to the man himself. Here are my favorite Homer Simpson quotes of all time…so here we go:

Homer [praying]: “I’m not really a praying man, but if you are up there, save me  Superman”

Homer [toasting]: “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems.”

Homer [singing]: “Spider Pig, Spider Pig, Does whatever a spider pig does, Can he swing, from a web, no he can’t, he’s a pig, LOOKOUT,He is a Spider Pig”

Homer: “Oh, they have the internet on computers now”

Homer [advising kids]: “If something is hard to do, then it not worth doing”

Homer [advising kids]:”Kids you’ve tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try”

Homer [on the phone]: “Operator, give me the number for 911”

Homer [advising kids]: “Vampires are make believe, like Elves, Gremlins, and Eskimos”

Homer: “Without TV, its hard to tell when one day ends, and the other begins”

Marge: “Homer! There’s someone here who can help you…”
Homer: “Is it Batman?”
Marge: “No, he’s a scientist.”
Homer: “Batman’s a scientist?!”
Marge: “It’s not Batman!”

Homer: “Books are useless! I only ever read one book, ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds. Sure it tells me not to judge a man by his colour, but what good is that to me!”

Homer: “Look, all I’m saying is, if these big stars didn’t want people going through their garbage and saying they’re gay, then they shouldn’t have tried to express themselves creatively”

Bart: “I want to be emancipated!”
Homer: “Emancipated? Don’t you like being a dude?”

Homer [in monologue]: “I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.”

Sideshow Bob: “Homer, how can one man have so many enemies?”
Homer: “I’m a people person.”

Homer: “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”

Homer [singing]: “I am so smart, I am so smart . . . S-M-R-T . . . d’oooh . . . I mean . . . S-M-A-R-T!”

Homer: “Awww, $20! But I wanted a peanut!”
Homer’s brain: “$20 can buy many peanuts.”
Homer: “Explain how.”
Homer’s brain: “Money can be exchanged for goods and services.”
Homer: “Wahoo!”

Homer: “Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!”

Apu: “I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.”
Homer: “You’re…selling _what_, now?”
Apu: “I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.”
Homer: “You can’t sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams the door].”
Apu: “He’s got me there.”

Homer [tripping]: “Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!”

Homer [at work]: “To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?”

Homer: “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

Homer [on statistics]: “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.”


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